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Employee of the Month
Monica Liotto - aka Lewinsky aka Vice Grips aka Shorty aka Tugboat aka Hot Patootie
- Playing Softball does NOT make you a lesbian.
- Strictly Dickly – Monica does NOT eat pussy, but her excellent flexibility allows her to eat her own.
- She loves artichokes, bacon sandwiches, beef boxes, cornucopias, cabbage, cheesecake, cookies, and tacos, but she’s not a huge fan of cucumbers or eggplants.
- She is a huge fan of apples, bonbons, bell-peppers, cantaloupes, chestnuts, coconuts, cream-jugs, cupcakes, cones, and cherry-topped sundaes.
- She has I Love (;) tattooed on her lower back.
- Her boyfriend, John, is tired of wearing lingerie and strap-ons to satisfy Monica’s weird sexual fetishes.
- Her autobiography, Batting For The Other Side, will be released this Fall.
- Known as a “blunt bitch” by her friends, Monica can be hard to swallow, which means she can suck.
- An avid painter, Monica considers her first painting, entitled “My Clam” to be her best work.
- Monica is a beautiful, highly educated, down-to-earth woman; a loyal and loving friend; a fantastic mixologist; and a beloved member of the Paddy’s family.
BY Patrick Gibney
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